Building patience matters in recovery because recovery isn’t an overnight process. Everyone’s recovery journey is different, but no one’s is quick or easy. Those who have suffered from addiction spend a lifetime in recovery because it is a constant journey to learn new ways to become better.
The truth is, you’re probably going to experience a setback at some point during recovery, which is frustrating. Don’t let that frustration lead to hopelessness, though. That’s where it becomes important to give yourself the gift of patience.
The following quote by Paulo Coelho, a Brazilian lyricist and novelist, depicts the need for patience quite beautifully:
“I have seen many storms in my life. Most storms have caught me by surprise, so I had to learn very quickly to look further and understand that I am not capable of controlling the weather, to exercise the art of patience, and to respect the fury of nature.”
Why Patience in Recovery Matters
Most of us have heard the common phrase “patience is a virtue”, but just because it sounds cliché doesn’t make it untrue. Patience leads to resilience — but how do we obtain it? When we’re flooded with rage, or anxiety, or we’re debilitated by depression, how can we practice greater patience with ourselves? Using the same metaphor as Paulo Coelho, it’s hard to simply watch the storm rise rather than trying to do something about it, but by watching the storm, we’re accepting the natural course of human emotion rather than trying to suppress it. This is much, much healthier in the end.
In recovery, patience is not about waiting passively — it’s about actively choosing to trust the process. Healing takes time, and the ability to slow down, sit with discomfort, and resist the urge for immediate results is what allows long-term recovery to take root. Without patience, small setbacks can feel like failure; with patience, those same setbacks become opportunities to grow stronger.
Guidelines for Practicing More Patience in Recovery
Here are some guidelines for practicing more patience with yourself:
Acknowledge emotions without judgment
The next time you feel intensely about something, acknowledge it while also agreeing that you’re okay. For example, say to yourself: “I am upset, and I’m also okay.” By acknowledging what feels like polar opposites, you become more open to the “grey” areas of life – and that’s where patience thrives.
Set aside a ‘patience practice day’
Pick a day when you’ll make a conscious effort to practice patience in everything you do. Choose to be mindful and live in the present moment. You’ll notice a sincere difference between the days you practice patience versus the days when you don’t.
Delay gratification
The next time you want to run towards a not-so-healthy coping mechanism, practice waiting and choosing something else instead. Over time, this strengthens your ability to pause and make intentional choices rather than reacting out of habit.
Building Patience as a Recovery Skill
Developing patience in recovery is like building a muscle — it takes consistent practice. Many people find that therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) provide tools to slow down, challenge negative thought patterns, and sit with difficult emotions instead of rushing to escape them.
Support groups and sober living communities can also help, as they remind us that recovery is a shared journey, not a solo race. Hearing others’ stories of progress over time reinforces the idea that healing unfolds step by step.
At its core, patience in recovery is about giving yourself permission to heal at your own pace. Each day of patience is an investment in long-term resilience and freedom.
Cumberland Heights is a nonprofit alcohol and drug addiction treatment center located on the banks of the Cumberland River in Nashville, Tennessee. On a sprawling 177-acre campus, we are made up of 2 12-Step immersion campuses, 12 outpatient recovery centers, and 4 sober living homes. We believe that each person has a unique story to tell – and that’s why we always put the patient first.
